Can You See Me?
by Dan Breaddy
Summary: Ginny Weasley is in love with Draco Malfoy. And she loves him so much it hurts. And it hurts so much that she wants to die. So one night, she takes a knife from the kitchen, goes to a tower, and begins to scribble down her last document. *complete*
1. I try to wash the pain away from me

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Song: Michelle Branch, characters: J.K. Rowling. See? Nothing left for me.

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Turn it inside out so I can see  
The part of you that's drifting over me

Ginny inwardly groaned. Not again, that rush of light-headedness that reminded her so much of Tom. She kept her head down, half-heartingly hoping that that he would not see her, that he'd let her pass without a snide comment, while the other half of her hoped that he'd notice her, that she could see into his gray eyes again.

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And when I wake you're never there  
But when I sleep you're everywhere

No, it wasn't out if fear, or hatred that Ginny avoided Draco. No, it was out of love. Not a little summertime love, or puppy dog, this love took everything out of her; she was empty. If she caught a glimpse of silver hair, she swooned. He was everything to her, her life, energy, and happiness. He was the one thing that kept her up in her classes, that forced her to eat another meal, that woke her up the next morning.

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You're everywhere

Avoiding the real Draco, she could deal with the ones that she always saw. Even though they were separate years and houses, Ginny saw him wherever she turned. Whenever she looked at the lake outside her bedroom window, she could see his gray orbs looking back at her. The snow-covered trees reminded her on end of his silver hair, she saw his smirk more times that Alice saw the Cheshire cat's.

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Just tell me how I got this far  
Just tell me why you're here and who you are

And it scared Ginny more than the Chamber of Secrets ever would.

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'Cause every time I look you're never there  
And every time I sleep you're always there

She might've had hope. But she had forsaken it long ago. Now, she was an empty, soulless being, a muggle robot. She had lost the will to live; she had dug her hole so deep that it was near to impossible to climb out.

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'Cause you're everywhere to me  
And when I close my eyes it's you I see

She still faked her crush on Harry. True, the blush that creeped onto her face was real, still, but it was there cause she felt guilty. That she was more than hopelessly in love with his enemy. That Harry would never mean as much to her as Draco would. And, afraid of a slip, she never said much around him.

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You're everything I know that makes me believe  
I'm not alone

She became withdrawn, depressed. She was falling deeper and deeper into Draco's pools of gray. She cried everytime he teased or taunted her, cause no matter how much she told herself that deep down, he liked her, she could hear his words ringing clearly through her ears. No matter how hard that she tried to tell herself that he was hiding his emotion to her; his words showed mirrored his exact emotions: hate. Utter and compete hatred for all she was and would ever become.

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I'm not alone

Never had Ginny felt any more helpless, hopeless, forgotten, or alone in her entire existence. And it killed her more than any death ever would.

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I recognize the way you make me feel  
It's hard to think that you might not be real

Maybe it was better not to live at all. When you're dead, you feel nothing. You can't give out feelings when you don't have any. Yes, you die when you have no hope and when no one has hope for you, she reasoned one afternoon.

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I sense it now, the water's getting deep  
I try to wash the pain away from me

Ginny had no hope. Hope was something that you felt when you thought that something was going to happen. Nothing would happen. Hope was a trust that she had forsaken. Hope was something that her expectations were centered on. And hoping was that you wished for something to happen with all your heart. Ginny had no heart; she had given it to Draco on a platter and he had thrown it back to her.

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Away from me

She went to the large portrait of fruit in a bowl and tickled the pear. A useful trick that Fred and George had taught her long ago, in her first year. She'd miss them. She asked the house elves for a large, sharp knife. So eager to get it for her, that they didn't even inquire why she needed it. That was good. The fewer people that knew of her suicide attempt, the better.

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'Cause you're everywhere to me  
And when I close my eyes it's you I see

She'd miss Ron too. Even though she rarely saw him during school, she knew that he loved her. He'd be sad, but knowing Ron, he'd be pretty mad too. She'd have to tell him in a note not to blame him on her death.

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You're everything I know that makes me believe  
I'm not alone

She made her way up to the astronomy tower. Surely, it'd be empty at 11:30 on a school night?

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I'm not alone

She went up to one of the rather taller ones; it was 11:52 when she arrived. She grabbed a piece of parchment from the teacher's desk and began to write her suicide note.

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I am not alone  
Whoa, oh, oooh, oh

To whoever it concerns:

This letter is the last written document of Virginia Weasley, age 16, 6th year Gryffindor of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

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And when I touch your hand  
It's then I understand

I'm sorry to my family. I am in too deep and have lost hope in ever coming back. I am seriously depressed and saw no other way. Mum, I love you very much, even now. I thank you that while, we never had much money, you always made sure that we had something. You lift me up when I was down or hurt, and I am dearly sorry that I could not say good-bye to you.

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The beauty that's within  
It's now that we begin

Daddy, I love you too. Always my prince in shinning armour, my rescuer, and I'm sorry that you know nothing of this. I want you to know that even though I may not always be with you, I will always be your little girl.

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You always light my way  
I hope there never comes a day

Bill and Charlie: to my 2 oldest brothers, I love you much. Even though I rarely saw you, I know that you loved me too. I'm sorry that I could not be with you before now. I'm sure that you would drag me and put me in St. Mungos before I ever started this letter. I hope, even though I have none as I write, that in everything you do, you will be successful.

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No matter where I go  
I always feel you so

Percy: I love you Perce. Even though you have often been the causes of major headaches sometimes, I know that you did it because you wanted the best for your little sister. And I thank you that you cared enough about me to do that for me. Best wishes to Penelope and your wedding.

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'Cause you're everywhere to me  
And when I close my eyes it's you I see

Fred and George: Thank you for showing me how I could attain this knife. While you were here, you made me feel wanted and welcome. You let me in our your pranks and showed me your little hiding places and secrets. I know that you wanted me to continue the Weasley prank-pulling lineage here at Hogwarts, and I'm sorry that I failed you. May success come to your company. I love you.

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You're everything I know that makes me believe  
I'm not alone

To my most loved and dearest brother, Ron: Ron, please, don't blame yourself. I didn't go into this depression because of you; I do not blame you even now. I blame myself. I have fallen in love, and it was something in which that I could neither come out of nor would I ever experience it. I still love you, you have been the closest thing to a brother I have ever felt, and I thank you for that. Forgive me, brother, for not saying good-bye sooner today. I am in too deep. I will miss you.

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You're everything I know that makes me believe  
I'm not alone

To Harry: Harry, I'm sorry for deceiving you. I love someone else. Don't feel guilty, my death is not of your causing. Go ahead and tell Cho you like her, I am not in your way. I have lost all sense of feelings. I will miss you, boy-who-lived. May your life be prosperous.

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'Cause you're everywhere to me  
And when I catch my breath it's you I breathe

Hermoine: You have been the closest thing to an older sister that I have ever experienced. This is not your fault, I just like to thank you for being the shoulder to cry on and always available to talk to when I needed it, despite the adventures that you, Ron, and Harry were on. I hope that you can forgive me for not telling you sooner. I will miss you.

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You're in everyone I see  
So tell me

Everyone: please, mourn for me and remember me but do not fall into depression because of me. This is not your fault. This is my heart's fault. Please relay Draco my love.

I love you all.

~ Ginny

PS: please, don't let my memories stop here. Donate my usable organs to science.

She put the paper down where someone would see it and went out onto the balcony. She took a deep breath, one last look at the stars, and raised the large knife.

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Do you see me?


	2. Letting go of all I've held onto

Disclaimer: Ok… I had this really cool dream the other night, and I think it was a promotion. Cuz in it, I got this letter thing that said "Miss Kiah ~ Harry Potter now solely belongs to you and you alone," and I was like, "Oh. My. Gosh. No way!" But then the alarm rang before I could put my signature on the certificate, so I woke up. (actually, no, I'm joking, but it's a nice thought, eh?)

A/N:

To **sorrow personified **(is that right?): you're kinda right, kinda not about the describing thing, but I took out that part anyways. Cuz 'member, Draco's an 18-year-old male and he'd kinda _notice_ those kinda things… so I put a new, not~so~graphic description in it. I forget where though. Second chappy though.

Did anyone see 'On the Line'? Cuz this song is it's little theme thing, and yeah, I admit, there are some points in the song where it has absolutely nothing to do with the story, but I thought that it pointed out well that Draco would do anything to keep Ginny hanging on life.

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I'm laying it on the line to show you

I'll never let you go

On the line for your love

There's nothing I want more

The bell rang and almost instantly, the hallway was flooded with children, some that were as young as 11 and some that were as old as 17, each bustling off to their next class. One particular 17-year-old, a Slytherin prefect named Draco Malfoy, searched the hallway frantically. He was looking for a girl and ignoring the one that was tugging on her sleeve. He was looking for Virginia Weasley.

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Another dead-end street, another love gone wrong

Another shattered dream, always the same old song

I started thinking that you never come along

Since the beginning of school, he had had this _thing_ for her, call it a crush or an obsession, and if you were brave enough, call it love; it was there nonetheless. For months, he would watch her secretly, eating dinner or chew on her thumbnail over a hard problem in the library. He smiled when a smile was written across her beautiful face, and was always there for something. He, of course, could never, _ever_ show open concern for her, too many people, including her and himself, might get hurt, but he would always bump into her or make some snide comment to her in poor attempts to make conversation. And if she just _gave the word_ he'd drop all things and do anything for her. Anything. 

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I've got all this love inside and that was all that was tonight

I'm wish you knew what I've been through to get to you

Even if it meant leaving her.

He had noticed a very sudden change just the week before. No longer did she smile or laugh. She was mute and deaf, nodding vacantly with her once animated-now-lifeless brown eyes. They had lost their luster, their shine. It was _scary_ to watch her bite her lip and nod, but with no sound. She was fading…

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I meant it on the line to show you

I'll never let you go

On the line for your love

So he teased her. He had to. It was his way of showing care to her. That he was there for her, whenever she needed anything. But more and more often than not, she was silent. Absolutely quiet. Draco had noticed that she never said anything, never even looked up, even when he had commanded it. It wasn't just to him either. She never spoke to anyone, never looked up, never _smiled_, not even to Harry Potter. It was as if she was falling, trapped in her own little world.

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There's nothing I want more

When you smile

I feel my heart open and I know there's nothing that I wouldn't do

So Draco kept of the teasing, the sneering, and the bumping. He even stepped it up a notch for effort. He felt helpless that he could never come right out and _tell_, and yet, at the same time, he felt as if he was the only thing keeping her, holding her up. He felt that if he stopped, her entire world would fall and she'd fall with it. Into somewhere he didn't like to think about; into herself. There, he couldn't pull her out, not even with open affection. At that point, nothing would.

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I layin' it on the line this time

Just to be with you

He had seen with his own eyes what happens when people fall into themselves. They either went insane… or… they killed themselves. It happened all the time with people connected with his father… He didn't want either of them happening to Virginia. _His_ Virginia.

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After everything my heart's been through

I treasure every moment I spend with you

For me to feel this way is something new

But she kept falling. It almost seemed as if she was doing it voluntarily, he thought appalled. From each day on, he begged and pleaded mentally with the 16-year-old to hang on, to hang in there. He feared that if he lost her, he would fall too. He sought out the source of this depression, but could find none. Draco began to get frustrated at this mysterious source. What was it that was causing her change? That was causing her to fall?

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Now it's got a hold on me it's making me believe

The love we got is something unlike any other

Draco was a prefect. With the new threat of Voldermolt's rising, he had gone to special training to learn new spells, hexes, and charms. The School Governors had been very cautious when they chose the prefect for Slytherin, and most hesitant when they finally chose him, but he was the best qualified to be Slytherin's prefect, and they desperately needed one before school started.

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I layin' it on the line to show you

I'll never let you go

On the line for your love

The change for him had occurred a day ago. Patrolling a relatively high tower on the North side of the school, he had seen a shadow of a retreating figure taking the stairs up to the tallest tower. He left his routine watch to follow mysterious and possibly dangerous figure. When torchlight or moonlight hit it, he had a glimpse of red hair and a large kitchen knife. Draco gripped his wand tightly as he noiselessly followed the figure into a deserted classroom with a balcony.

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There's nothing I want more

When you smile

I feel my heart open and I know there's nothing that I wouldn't do

I layin' it on the line this time, just to be with you

The figure stopped for a few seconds, bending over and writing a note. Draco could see the hair fall over the shaking shoulders in soft curls and quiet, muffled sobs filled the room. He recognized the figure in a heartbeat. It was Virginia who was sobbing, who was writing, who was holding the knife… realization hit Draco as if he had run into a brick wall. She was going to kill herself and she was, writing her suicide note.

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If you think it wasn't thinking, all you gotta do is say the

If you tell me what you need then I can give you what you ask for

When I didn't have a prayer, I thought nobody cared

I turned around and you were there

In all honesty, he shouldn't have been surprised. He had seen the effects of what was eating her, and subconsciously knew that his would happen sooner or later. But it felt so odd to see Virginia, a Weasley, coming out in the dead of night to kill herself. The Weasley's weren't all that off, but they were generally happy and satisfied. It was so _surreal_. Like he was living in some sick muggle fantasy.

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Now I've been waiting for you

And I want you to know

On the line to show you

On the line for your love 

But no, this was reality. Each star that reflected light, making her hair shine around her like a rose-colored halo was real, each tear that fell was a genuine tear of pain and sorrow, each word she scribbled on the yellow parchment was there, in black, for the world could read her story.

He had to stop her. Somehow. Without showing too much concern for her. He almost laughed, but with the gravity of the situation, he stopped himself immediately. It would be impossible to _not_ show affection towards her. Especially now. Draco began to hope that she would lose her nerve, like he always did. He hoped that she would find something worth living for before it was…

Too late.

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When you smile, I feel my heart open

And I know there's nothing that I wouldn't do

She stepped away from the note and out into the moonlight, taking one last look at the stars. Draco still had draw a breath, to him, Virginia, standing there in moonlight was absolutely beautiful. He briefly caught a glimpse of the her before her transformation, the gorgeous 16-year-old that had started each day with a smile that showed her love for life, her radiant ruby hair bouncing behind her. That was when she was still smiling. He shook his head at the memory. No, this was now. This was when Virginia never smiled.

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I'm layin it on the line to show you

On the line for your love there's nothing I want more

When you smile, I feel my heart open

He quickly scanned her suicide note, taking notice of the many good-byes she had written. It was well written, though some of it was stained by her salty tears. His eyes widened in surprise and delight as he read the last line. '_Give Draco my love'_. She was in love with _him_, it was him that was causing her to fall. She was falling in love, and she thought that he didn't feel the same way! Draco's heart soared at the latest revelation and he smiled broadly, but it soon faded as he saw her look up at the stars and raise her large knife.

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And I know there's nothing that I wouldn't do

I meant it on the line this time

just to be with you


	3. I'll Never Let You Go

Disclaimer ~ Do I really look like the kinda person that owns things? No… didn't think so.

A/N ~ And since that I couldn't bear for my favorite character to kill herself, a tall, dark, and sarcastic, yeah, and handsome stranger steps in. But can he do it in time?

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Desperate for changing   
Starving for truth

"Nice suicide note, Weasley." A calm, smooth voice interrupted Ginny's morbid thoughts of suicide as she struggled to place it. She gasped, no! It couldn't be! _He _wasn't supposed to be here!

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I'm closer to where I started   
Chasing after you

The owner of the voice stepped out from the shadows towards her. A tall, lean, silver haired and gray eyed 7th year Slytherin. "Draco," she said, more for her benefit than his, as calmly and as sanely as she could muster, "And I suppose that you would know what made a good suicide note and what wouldn't." He shrugged. "What are you doing out here anyway?" she asked suspiciously, brows furrowing.

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I'm falling even more in love with you   
Letting go of all I've held onto

"I'm a prefect. It is my DUTY to do nightly patrols around the school grounds, to make sure that Voldermolt's," Ginny gave an involuntary flinch at the name, "not around," he said arily. "Right," she said, knife still in the air, but now slightly lower. Her arm was getting tired from the downward blood rush.

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I'm standing here until you make me move   
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

"What are you doing out here?" he countered abruptly. She looked around calmly, at the stars, the torches, her note, then finally, at the speaker. "Oh… I don't know, killing myself?" she said as she was just suggesting it to him. "Why?" he asked, a look of confusion and concern etched on each of his fine facial features.

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Forgetting all I'm lacking   
Completely Incomplete

Ginny chose not to reply. He stepped closer, til she and him were a mere 6 inches away from each other. "Why?" he repeated his question, softer. She could feel his warm breath on her cheeks and she suddenly felt very ashamed at herself.

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I'll take your invitation   
You take all of me, now

Ginny bit her lip and the knife quivered, catching and reflecting the bright moonlight. Draco eyed the knife wearily. "It's because… I want to die because…" she trailed off helplessly, the fuzziness from her being in his presence, so close to her, rushing back into her, making her lightheaded and difficult to think properly.

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I'm falling even more in love with you   
Letting go of all I've held on to

"Spit it out already, Weasley," Draco said impatiently.

"It's because, because I'm in love with you!" she said angrily at herself, her lip quivering dangerously, "I'm in love with you so much and I'm going to kill myself," she said firmly, grim determination in chocolate eyes. She took a large step back; Draco didn't follow.

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I'm standing here until you make me move   
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

"Why?" he asked again. She was about to respond with the obvious response, that she was in love. "Are you killing yourself because you're in love with me? When you're in love, aren't you supposed to feel floaty and happy all the time?" he reasoned.

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I'm living for the only thing I know   
I'm running and not quite sure where to go

"What would you know about love, Malfoy? And, no, that's not what I feel. That's love with HOPE. I love with despair," she lowered the knife towards her stomach. Draco's eyes widened slightly; he needed to keep her talking more than ever.

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And I don't know what I'm diving into   
Just hanging by a moment here with you

"What's the difference?" he asked, nonchalantly, twirling with his wand. She rolled her eyes. "The love I'm talking about is one where it's a one way thing."

"Oh." He nodded. "And it's all going to end," she brought the knife in a swoop to her midsection, "Now". Draco grabbed his wand. "Accio knife!" The large cutting knife flew out of her hand and into Draco's.

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There's nothing else to lose   
There's nothing else to find

"Why…?" she looked enraged but slightly relieved. "I'm not about to watch you kill yourself," he said, glaring back at her.

"Why? I'm doing it all for YOU," she sneered. It was apparent that she was edging on insane or delirious.

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There's nothing in the world   
That could change my mind

"Every time I run into you, you insult me with 'You're to poor', or 'You're hair is too red'. And everytime, I lose myself in your gray eyes, and in your eyes, there is no love for me, Draco. There's hate, and disgust, and pride, and dignity.

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There is nothing else   
There is nothing else

"And there is no way that you could ever love someone like me. There is no way that a Malfoy could ever love me." Draco stood, unmoving and unexpressioned. Thoughts and words ran through his mind, and he stood for a long time not knowing what to say.

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There is nothing else

He looked at the female in front of him. Her eyes were blood shot from crying, a bloodshot red around a doe-colored iris. Her usually pale cheeks were now flushed from adrenaline and the salty tears, her freckles had streaks of a pink running down them. Her curly red hair was behind her, waves falling over her shoulders. Still in her school uniform, he could make out the places on her shabby robe where tears had fallen. Her small, slim hand was empty, clutching air where it had clutched the knife handle.

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Desperate for changing   
Starving for truth

He finally spoke. "So you want to die?" he said calmly, still clutching the handle of the knife. On a closer look, he could see that he bright eyes were now lifeless and dull; they had their attractive radiance. Her cheeks seemed sallow and hollow; her hair was limp and had lost its luster. Her heart and soul had lost the will to live, he reasoned, so her body responded.

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I'm closer to where I started   
I'm chasing after you

Ginny cast her eyes downward, ashamed of such a blunt question. She could feel Draco's gaze on her; her ugly flame-colored hair tumbling over her small shoulders. Her too-big lips trembling with even more unshed tears as she thought of the answer.

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I'm falling even more in love with you   
Letting go of all I've held onto

Did she _really_ want to die? Is this the way that she wanted it to end? It had just seemed like the _right_, the _only _answer that she didn't bother to check the other options. What did she really want? "Draco, I just want it all to end. The pain, the suffering, the loneliness, I just want it all to leave me. I just want it all to end," she repeated softly, her newly shed tears touching the stone floor and splattering.

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I'm standing here until you make me move   
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Draco watched helplessly as her shoulders shook from the new tears. It tore his heart into pieces to watch hers split. Finally, he gave in to his own feelings for her. He threw pride, common sense, and dignity all away when he took her chin in his hand, getting wet with her salty tears, and said softly, "Why should you end it when it's never begun?" He lowered his lips onto her and kissed her, her teardrops getting into his mouth.

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I'm living for the only thing I know   
I'm running and not quite sure where to go

Ginny gasped softly when she realized what was happening. Much as she tried, the tears didn't stop streaming down her face as Malfoy wrapped his arms around her waist. But these *new* tears weren't of sorrow, they were of her new-found joy that had risen in her heart.

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And I don't know what I'm diving into   
Just hanging by a moment here with you

Yes, Ginny Weasley had a heart. It was given back to her that night, that night that she had tried to kill herself. But more importantly, that night, she found a place in Draco Malfoy's heart.

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Just hanging by a moment   
Hanging by a moment   
Hanging by a moment   
Hanging by a moment here with you

A/N: hey, don't be ashamed if you cried. Hell, I cried when I was WRITING the story. Well… the first chapter anyways… so, tell me what you thought of it in your review *hint hint*.


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